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October 2009 Archives

October 2, 2009

"There is a Difference Between Knowing the Path and Walking the Path." (The Matrix)

The other day I took a walk down Memory Lane— a rather long, winding road just around the corner from How the Hell Did I Get Here Place. It was a very interesting and rather pleasant journey. I was cleaning out some old file cabinets because I had to make room for my new very large bank books and new client files. In the middle of one drawer I ran into my old undergraduate college professors. They were in the faded, dog-eared files with a few of my old assignment and term papers — The Psychology of Drug Addiction, Probation Supervision: Protection or Threat, Juvenile Crime: Doing by Learning, Law Justice is Thy Name and two critique papers on Reinhold Niebuhr and Thomas Szasz. They were all very happy to see me and the feeling was mutual.

As I read some of the relatively lengthy and in retrospect prophetic comments on my papers, I found myself in familiar conversations with those professors I had long since forgotten. Some of them were very enthusiastic about my writing and were very encouraging about my potential and future. Many of them wanted me to be a lawyer. One was sure I would be a philosopher. None were supportive of my decision to accept an offer from the U.S Probation Department in the Eastern District of New York. But that is what I did. I was twenty-something and the idea of being on surveillance, carrying a gun, having a nice office and earning a decent salary appealed to me more than three or four more years of school, much less law school. And, since I had been attending school at night because I had to work during the day, and student loans would soon be an issue, philosophical pursuits were impractical.

As I looked back through those old files I could see and feel myself moving forward through my life— my childhood dreams, my hopes and ambitions, my fears. The experience reminded me of a line in my favorite movie— The Matrix. When explaining why he is not afraid of complete annihilation when such seems quite certain, Morpheus, one of the main characters, explains that he is without fear because he looks back. “I remember that I am here not because of the path that lies before me but because of the path that lies behind me.”

The Law Office of Carlene Jadusingh is now open for business. My website has been updated to include my practice areas— please check it out, strong>cjadusinghlegal.com. Thank you.

October 22, 2009

Me And My Shadow of Reasonable Doubt

Yea as walk through the valley of the shadow of the solo practice reaper and the threat of generic dog chow I shall fear no evil for my office phone is ringing...hallelujah, hallelujah. One of the things I do really well, in addition to arguing, is worry. If I could get paid for just worrying for my clients, which I think is actually part of my job, I have no doubt I would do very, very well. But alas, my pain and suffering brings no compensation.

When I made the decision to start this practice I worried about everything I could imagine, and I have a very vivid and creative imagination. The little things, like whether I would get any clients and make any money, were of concern too. I also kept telling myself that I worried too much and that things were going to work out fine, as they always do. Then again, I imagine it would be unreasonable to expect that I shouldn’t worry, all things considered. After all getting a solo practice off the ground is a heavy lift. But there is something to be said for just letting go.

No, I don’t mean just drop the thing if it gets too heavy. Nor am I referring to fear and doubt— those two are really bad dates that just can’t take a hint and keep calling because they are sure you are just playing hard to get. It would be nice to just get rid of them but they are relentless and dense. And I certainly don’t mean letting go of goals or dreams. I mean that in order to withstand the pressures of a new solo practice, I had to release my attachment to outcomes. For example, I still worry about whether I will file the right papers at the right times. However, I no longer worry whether my practice will succeed. I want my practice to succeed but I don’t define success by how I may be doing in five or even one year from now. I measure success by how and what I’m doing now. And right now my office is open, my phone is ringing, I am writing retainer agreements and I can make time to play with my dog.

In addition, I now have an increasing network of good friends and associates that I depend on for advice and guidance. Indeed, most of the cases I have gotten so far have been referrals from other attorneys. Networking in fact continues to be one of the most important areas of my practice and something I continue to devote a considerable amount of time to, with good reason. At the end of one of the most recent events I attended, another attorney approached me, handed me her card and offered to provide assistance when needed. I later realized that her office was very close to mine and we are scheduled to have lunch in two weeks. I also plan to invite her into my Potluck Legal Network and to perhaps join us for bowling next month.

About October 2009

This page contains all entries posted to Reasonable Doubt in October 2009. They are listed from oldest to newest.

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