Reasonable Doubt

One of the best things for me about 2008 was graduating from law school and getting to shake hands with the most Honorable Judge Judith Kaye. To say she is a role model of mine is an understatement. Standing on the stage with her for those brief few seconds made that day even more remarkable and unforgettable for me.

During my career in the federal court in the Eastern District of New York, I observed, appeared before and got to know countless state and federal magistrates and judges. Regardless of the judicial decisions in the respective cases, sometimes my experience with some members of the bench was disappointing at best. I am sure you know what I mean and have all had similar or worst experiences at some point.

But the judges who have had the most impact on me and who I will never forget are not just the ones who I thought made the correct and just decisions, but the ones who were clearly seeking to administer Justice. I believe great judges are not the ones who make decisions or pronounce sentences based solely on some arbitrary or circumstantially irrelevant theory of crime and punishment, or worse, judges who have been socially segregated from society for decades who decide the rights of other’s based on what they believe “society is willing to accept.”

On the contrary, I have seen and worked with judges who overcame the inertia of our justice system and struggled with their own moral compass to arrive at a place where they could render decisions and pass judgments that although not always infallible, aimed to be righteous. Those judges, especially Judge Kaye, I believe are great and they will always inspire me.

This month I had the pleasure of attending two induction ceremonies for newly elected New York County civil court judges. When I received the first invitation I was very surprised and honored. I, especially as a new attorney, was delighted that another attorney, now judge, remembered meeting me, some two months earlier, looked up my address and sent me an invitation to her induction.

When I met both of these judicial candidates, I knew that they were remarkable women. I knew that they were the kind of attorneys I wanted to be like and the kind of judges I would want to appear before. They were both very “real” and grounded people who I believe appreciate the often ethereal relationship between the law and justice. I also sensed that no matter how long they sat on the bench, they would still “be a part of” the society they were judging. And my feelings and opinions were more than validated by the statements of the many family, friends and politicians who spoke at their respective ceremonies.

I have often thought of Judge Kaye and how sad I was when she retired last year. Whether there will be another like her remains to be seen. But after the second induction ceremony, I had only two thoughts, “The state of New York and especially New York County has some amazing judges” and “I am so proud to be a part of the New York State Bar.”

Perhaps one of the most remarkable things I have discovered since I started my firm is— adobe acrobat. As a new attorney with a general solo practice, I endeavor to be more like the adobe acrobat professional— practical and intuitive with the power to transform and adapt to changing needs and programs.

In addition to the law, I love tools— especially power tools. I love that feeling I get when I am working on some new project and realize that I have just the right tool for the job— that will make it easier and get it done right the first time. That reminds me of something a good friend said the first time he came into my office, “this is a place where things get done. One way or another, they get done!” He was no doubt moved by the juxtaposition of my fabulous all-in-one copier and my equally fabulous craftsman Laser Trac miter saw. Yes, I can fax, pdf and frame out a door way in the same office!

The other day I found myself desperate for a certain immigration form that had to be completed and filed STAT. It also had to be signed by myself and my client. Enter my AAP. Using my adobe acrobat professional I was able to download, complete via type, sign & send the form to my client for him to sign and return to me via fax in less than 20 minutes! While I waited for him to send it back, I used my Dremel to change and refit the door nob and lock on my office door.

On another occasion I needed to format and print a litigation cover (blue back). Two months ago I spend what felt like days trying to figure out how to properly align Blumburg forms for printing. Those days are gone. Now I simply scan, convert, type and— voilá!

Being a general solo can be very nerve-racking, tiring, scary and overwhelming, but with the right tools, it can also be made simpler and even fun.

FYI, my Potluck Legal Network is still accepting new members for 2010, please feel free to contact me if you would like to join the group. We meet on the second Tuesday of each month to eat, drink, socialize and network. Thanks and happy new year.

1. Don’t be afraid to take on a new challenge because you think you
won’t know what to do— because you will.
2. Never underestimate the importance of a good printer/copier/fax/scanner
3. No matter how busy or tiring it gets make time for the gym and the dog.

As I walked through the door of my new life — as a general solo, I felt not only an enormous amount of pride, excitement and of course fear, but I also felt a certain sense of inevitable grace—it is now as it was meant to be. Everything has fallen serenely into place— from the art on my office walls and the placement of my new handy dandy, marvelous all-in-one professional business machine to the just perfect place where my dog rests when she comes in to check on me.

Since my door opened in October 2009, my practice has undertaken cases in the areas of: name change, landlord/tenant, immigration, bankruptcy and contracts. And, I have an average of 4 new clients per month. In addition, I won my first immigration case— an amnesty petition. That was huge for me and of course my client was quite pleased as well. We got the decision right before the Solstice which made this holiday season the best my client and I have ever had.

So, I feel pretty confident about 2010. But my optimism is built not just on the fact that I continue to get referrals and I can convert to pdf like nobody’s business, but my potluck legal network is growing and the bonds with my colleagues are getting stronger. For every new case I have had, I have had someone to look to for guidance. Questions ranging from “how much do I charge for this,” to “what format do I use for that,” to “good grief, what do I do now!” — all have been answered with patience and with grace. And for that I am very grateful and will say a special thank you now to Tom and Debra who are only two of many that I have been fortunate to have as mentors and friends.

However, with all the commotion in the past few months, I have not been able to get to the gym as often as I had been, and it shows. My dog and I are not walking as long as we used to either, and she knows. Therefore, along with some new software, I will invest in those exercise walking shoes and the pup and I resolve to set out once again in our daily olfactory treasure hunt for urine and the other irresistible pleasures that makes my dog’s life, and therefore mine, so sweet.

Happy New Year to you all and thank you for coming back despite my absence. I look forward to hearing from you.

Yea as walk through the valley of the shadow of the solo practice reaper and the threat of generic dog chow I shall fear no evil for my office phone is ringing...hallelujah, hallelujah. One of the things I do really well, in addition to arguing, is worry. If I could get paid for just worrying for my clients, which I think is actually part of my job, I have no doubt I would do very, very well. But alas, my pain and suffering brings no compensation.

When I made the decision to start this practice I worried about everything I could imagine, and I have a very vivid and creative imagination. The little things, like whether I would get any clients and make any money, were of concern too. I also kept telling myself that I worried too much and that things were going to work out fine, as they always do. Then again, I imagine it would be unreasonable to expect that I shouldn’t worry, all things considered. After all getting a solo practice off the ground is a heavy lift. But there is something to be said for just letting go.

No, I don’t mean just drop the thing if it gets too heavy. Nor am I referring to fear and doubt— those two are really bad dates that just can’t take a hint and keep calling because they are sure you are just playing hard to get. It would be nice to just get rid of them but they are relentless and dense. And I certainly don’t mean letting go of goals or dreams. I mean that in order to withstand the pressures of a new solo practice, I had to release my attachment to outcomes. For example, I still worry about whether I will file the right papers at the right times. However, I no longer worry whether my practice will succeed. I want my practice to succeed but I don’t define success by how I may be doing in five or even one year from now. I measure success by how and what I’m doing now. And right now my office is open, my phone is ringing, I am writing retainer agreements and I can make time to play with my dog.

In addition, I now have an increasing network of good friends and associates that I depend on for advice and guidance. Indeed, most of the cases I have gotten so far have been referrals from other attorneys. Networking in fact continues to be one of the most important areas of my practice and something I continue to devote a considerable amount of time to, with good reason. At the end of one of the most recent events I attended, another attorney approached me, handed me her card and offered to provide assistance when needed. I later realized that her office was very close to mine and we are scheduled to have lunch in two weeks. I also plan to invite her into my Potluck Legal Network and to perhaps join us for bowling next month.

The other day I took a walk down Memory Lane— a rather long, winding road just around the corner from How the Hell Did I Get Here Place. It was a very interesting and rather pleasant journey. I was cleaning out some old file cabinets because I had to make room for my new very large bank books and new client files. In the middle of one drawer I ran into my old undergraduate college professors. They were in the faded, dog-eared files with a few of my old assignment and term papers — The Psychology of Drug Addiction, Probation Supervision: Protection or Threat, Juvenile Crime: Doing by Learning, Law Justice is Thy Name and two critique papers on Reinhold Niebuhr and Thomas Szasz. They were all very happy to see me and the feeling was mutual.

As I read some of the relatively lengthy and in retrospect prophetic comments on my papers, I found myself in familiar conversations with those professors I had long since forgotten. Some of them were very enthusiastic about my writing and were very encouraging about my potential and future. Many of them wanted me to be a lawyer. One was sure I would be a philosopher. None were supportive of my decision to accept an offer from the U.S Probation Department in the Eastern District of New York. But that is what I did. I was twenty-something and the idea of being on surveillance, carrying a gun, having a nice office and earning a decent salary appealed to me more than three or four more years of school, much less law school. And, since I had been attending school at night because I had to work during the day, and student loans would soon be an issue, philosophical pursuits were impractical.

As I looked back through those old files I could see and feel myself moving forward through my life— my childhood dreams, my hopes and ambitions, my fears. The experience reminded me of a line in my favorite movie— The Matrix. When explaining why he is not afraid of complete annihilation when such seems quite certain, Morpheus, one of the main characters, explains that he is without fear because he looks back. “I remember that I am here not because of the path that lies before me but because of the path that lies behind me.”

The Law Office of Carlene Jadusingh is now open for business. My website has been updated to include my practice areas— please check it out, strong>cjadusinghlegal.com. Thank you.

So I am flying solo now. In addition to navigating my way through the yet unknown and the can’t be known dark clouds of uncertainty, liability insurance, CPAs and ostentatious CLE instructors, I must now concern myself with my dog walking couture.

In the past when my puppy and I went out for a walk what we chose to wear wasn’t usually an issue. Now that we are networking for the purpose of building a practice and trying to avoid buying dog food manufactured in China, we have to think about what we are saying to people or rather, what they think we are saying. The fact is communicating with potential clients— who is everyone we meet or bark at— involves more than words, it includes those fabulous personal billboards that so succinctly, eloquently and defiantly proclaim our moral, intellectual and spiritual superiority. For example, the pup is partial to her “Barack The Vote” shirt and my “I hated George Bush before it was popular” tank top has racked up some frequent flyer miles.

Now I know what you are thinking, can the message on your tee shirts really be that important when someone is either trying to avoid being evicted or deported, especially when there is such a beautiful creature involved? Well, first of all, my dog is pretty cute too. Secondly, it would be imprudent to underestimate the power of the narrow mind and it’s cousin— ignorance. Some people can jump to enormous conclusions with very little effort. For instance to some, my “No War for Oil” shirt says I am an anarchist. My Habitat for Humanity shirts say I am a socialist and my Goddess wear indicates that I must worship the devil.

The solution could lie in the next big sale at Old Navy— a dozen polo shirts. Or it could be solved by the fact that our wardrobe is changing with the season. It is getting colder and by next Summer my practice will either be thriving or the pup and I will both be eating food manufactured in China. Assuming for the sake of argument that I am not advocating the overthrow of either the government or capitalism and that neither my dog nor I are daughters of the dark lord, the question is, does the desire to wear our “Hate is Not a Family Value” or “Surviving Katerina by Any Means Necessary” shirts outweigh the possibility of deterring potential clients?

Well that would depend on whether for the sake of building my practice, we are willing to sacrifice the shirts of our backs. The answer is no, because in the end it always come out in the wash.

I am not sure how exactly it happened. And, I am really not sure why it happened. But it happened. I let go. I released my attachment to the comfortable feel of an often unhappy but sure thing. And since then I have been feeling waves of freedom, excitement and a sort of pensive optimism marked by further waves of nausea. I am taking a empty handed leap into the void — I am starting my own practice.

Perhaps it was the slow state of the economic recovery, or the gradual decline of my willingness to conform my life experience into the parameters of a one page cover letter. Or, maybe it was just my rapid descent into insanity. Whatever the reason, at some point within the last month I decided that since the ever shrinking world of employers has yet to discover and appreciate me and my diverse talents, I needed to explore a new world.

If my journey through law school and especially the bar exam was a passage into the seventh ring of hell, and it was, could this path be any worse? Well hell, of course it could! But again, in the face of reasonable doubt I choose to be Ben Bernanke — relatively sure things will be stable if not vastly improved soon despite evidence to the contrary. However, unlike the fed chief, I have a less volatile, better and more reliable indicator of my success — my increasing network of friends and associates.

Building my practice will require that first client, and I am confident she/he will come. But maintaining it and keeping me real demands that I continue to seek and be open to receiving help. That being said, one of the most important things I’ve learned since I made the decision to go out on my own is that I won’t be alone. I have received nothing but encouragement, advise and assistance from my friends and the incredible group of attorneys that now form my Potluck Legal Network. I am very grateful. But for all the support and guidance I may not have taken this leap. Thank you.

I am hosting a reception for Leslie Crocker Snyder— the next district attorney for New York County— at the South Street Seaport please come on downtown and meet her, ask questions and have some refreshments on me.

I am supporting Leslie because as a prosecutor and a judge in New York she has contributed significantly to the protection of my rights as a citizen, a woman and a gay New Yorker.

• First woman to try both felony and homicide cases
• Founded & led the Sex Crimes Prosecution Bureau
• Co/authored NY’s Rape Shield Law
• Successfully advocated for a felony domestic violence court in Manhattan
• Has always supported marriage equality and gay rights
• And so much more...

In addition to all of the above, I am supporting Leslie because she will be the FIRST female district attorney in New York County! That’s right, in the history of New York State, there has only been one female DA— Liz Holtzman in Brooklyn. We can do better.

Please come downtown on Wednesday, August 26th @7:00 PM and let me introduce you to Leslie. I am sure you will also be impressed with her.

Please RSVP to: cjadusinghesq@gmail.com

Thanks & I hope to see you on Wednesday!

You are cordially invited to attend a private reception for Leslie Crocker Snyder who is running for Manhattan District Attorney.

I am supporting Leslie and I am hosting this event for her because I believe in her. I believe in her because during her career she has not only demonstrated a commitment to fighting crime but to also fighting injustice. I met Leslie for the first time when she was still a judge sitting on the bench in New York Supreme Court and I was still a federal officer with only plans of attending law school in the future. She inspired me then. I am an attorney now and I am still inspired. She inspires me on many levels but especially as a woman by braking gender barriers for other women like me. And as a lawyer, by doing her best to do the right thing and by using the power of the law for good.

I am also supporting Leslie NOW and asking you to come and meet her and support her NOW because NOW is when we have an opportunity to elect ONLY the 2nd Woman in New York history to the position of District Attorney. It is never too late to make a difference but we must act NOW.

Please come and meet /greet Leslie Crocker Snyder on:
Wednesday, August 26th @7:00 at the South Street Seaport.

Please RSVP to me directly ASAP. This is a private event & there will be a guest list limited to a maximum of 50 people. Upon RSVP you will be sent the exact address of the event. I look forward to meeting you & I know you will be inspired too. Thank you.

RSVP to: cjadusinghesq@gmail.com

A common complaint or obstacle among unemployed people is the unwillingness or reluctance to more “aggressively” seek out or follow up with contacts for fear of being perceived as annoying, harassing or “too desperate.” I think a large part of the problem, besides pride— which is a an emotional chimera I battle with often, is failure to communicate. Basically, whether you are employed, unemployed, underemployed or unhappily employed, to network is to ask for assistance in expanding, improving or otherwise modifying that status. But whether you are engaging in effective networking or being a nuisance will depend more on how you ask than how often you ask.

When networking, I have found that it is better to be open, honest and straightforward. It also helps if you can cultivate some sort of personality or at least have a really great dog. Now, given that I am still unemployed, I am obviously no expert on the art of finding a job. But my experiences while searching have made me a little less obtuse about certain principles of effective networking. First, even the most gifted legal orator, including myself of course, must learn to recognize the value and appropriateness of brevity. For example, at a recent event, I overheard someone ask another person in the beginning of their conversation if they were employed and where they were working. It wasn’t a trick question really but despite the rhetorical gymnastics and the curriculum vitae recital, neither the person asking nor I could figure out whether the person being asked had a job.

Networking can be as simple as exchanging business cards at a party or it can be a very complex psychodrama. Personally, I prefer to keep it simple. Now, I know we lawyers are endowed with the art of elocution and are naturally ostentatious, but really, if you are unemployed and need a job and someone asks you if you are working, just say no. On the other hand, If you work for AIG and someone asks where you are working, then you might consider babbling.

In addition, whether you are at a party, a designated networking event or walking your dog, remember first impressions are often not as they seem. Therefore, it is not particularly productive to attend events in the hope of making contacts if you only spend time with the people you know criticizing the wardrobe of everyone else in the room. I learned this lesson the hard way— suffice to say the owners of tutu wearing Chihuahuas are not all created equal.